


Wishes don't make lies come true

by Mierke



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 00:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3269900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mierke/pseuds/Mierke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow's recovery is slow and painful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishes don't make lies come true

**Author's Note:**

> **Spoilers/Timeline:** Set after Buffy's sixth season.  
> 

Elise made waffles that morning. Heart-shaped ones, which she put on a tray and brought to Willow as breakfast on bed with a smile on her face. Willow accepted them with a smile and a nod of thanks, and only let the tears fall when Elise had left the room.

Her hands gripped the tray as she stifled the urge to throw it across the room, taking the waffles with it. They were supposed to be pancakes. Tara had always made pancakes, and eating anything else in the morning just seemed wrong, seemed like she was rejoicing in the fact that Tara was _gone_.

Willow took a deep breath as the room started shaking around her. Focusing her energy down, she could nevertheless not prevent her waffles from reverting back to their original state. The eggs that had been used to make the waffles ran over the side of the tray and onto the bed, taking parts of the sugar with it.

Willow didn't even notice. Her eyes were closed and she focused on happy thoughts to keep her magic from crashing about. Going home. Being loved. Finding peace. Lies, all lies. But what else could she do than convince herself that things could go back to the way they were?

With a wave of her hand she vanished the mess on the bed, a soft sigh of relief escaping her as the spell didn't take her covers with it. She got out of bed, dressed herself in the first outfit she could find, and wandered outside. The coven's gardens were beautiful, but even their beauty stung her eyes. Another reminder of how this wasn't her world, this wasn't real.

She shivered in the cold and let out a relieved sigh as she finally found a patch of sunlight. The sun seemed to be her only link to home, and she sat down and soaked up the warmth. Here, in this spot, she could just... be. She closed her eyes to shut out the England in her surroundings, and imagined herself back home. A long summer day, with Buffy smiling and Xander's laughter in the air. Another lie, because when was the last time their summers had been that happy and carefree? Her fingers curled around the blades of grass, and before she realised what she was doing she could feel them dying in her hand. Tears pricked in her eyes as she let go, folding her hands on her stomach, hoping the non-direct touch would keep more magic from leaking out and destroying.

She took a breath, trying the meditation exercise that she had been working on with Elise for a week. She focused on the feel of the cold ground against her back, the weight of her body on the grass, the sounds of the birds in the sky and the heat of the sun on her skin. Breathing deeply, she extended her reach to the water in the pond nearby, the chatter of the coven's witches... She startled as for the first time, the meditation honed her magical senses more than just the expanding of her normal senses, and she could feel the grass growing underneath her.

Slowly, carefully, Willow lifted her right hand en laid it down on the earth again. Staying fully concentrated, not opening her eyes for even a peek, she sent her magic through her fingertips, urging a blade of grass to grow and grow, and the flower to come out. She was too afraid to open her eyes to find out for sure whether it had worked. Before she would give in to temptation and find out if this had been another lie she had told herself, she undid what she had done, slowly urging the blade of grass to go back to the state she had found it in.

Utterly exhausted from the emotions and the magic, she gave in to the lure of sleep, not sure whether she hoped to see Tara or not. If all she told herself were lies, those her dreams told her were the most ruthless ones.


End file.
